Asuna's Bath Suicide
by TDFLewis
Summary: Asuna has been plagued with loneliness and depression since Kirito's death, slightly different timeline fic that doesn't have a particularly happy ending, and by that I mean it's really quite dark. Also, warning, this could be triggering.


Note from the author: So I don't exactly know what mood I was in to write this, but just to clarify, in this Kirito was killed alongside Sugo, and Asuna's mind had been tortured by loneliness and depression from his death.

Asuna sighed as she twisted the tap, gazing at the water as it hit the bottom of the bathtub, she stood in awe for a while at the beauty of water droplets as they interacted with each other, twisting in a seemingly random pattern. She shook herself out of the daydream and pulled her shirt from her body, hands resting on her hips as she contemplated what she was about to do, eyes drifting to the knife on the counter as she unhooked her bra, dropping it to the ground, cleaning up her clothes was pointless, she muttered to herself as she pulled her trousers from her hips and let them fall to the floor, her underwear quickly followed, until she was standing naked in front of the bath, now full.

She stepped into the water, delicately breaking the surface as her body became submerged in her warm, transparent deathbed. Her mind, plagued and twisted by her traumatic past few years, was surprisingly calm. She raised her arm out of the water, twisting her wrist and gazing at the droplets as they fell from her fingertips, water was so much more beautiful in real life than Aincrad. She ran her hand across her cheek, touching her cheekbones softly, reminding herself of Kirito's touch, some liquid falling off of her cheek, leaving a trail down her neck and shoulders until it finally met with the surface of the water again, a shiver moving up her spine as the cold air of the bathroom made contact with the water's path. Anticipation brushed the back of Asuna's neck as another touch of realisation reached her mind when she remembered what she was about to do. Eyes closing softly, she slumped back into the bath, the tips of her amber hair soaking themselves on contact with the body of water. She sighed softly.

Asuna's eyes opened again, and she reached across for the blade on the counter, shadows closing in on the corners of her mind. She examined the sharp metal resting on the hilt, running a fingertip along the sharpest edge, grinning as a drop of red fell past her gaze, she watched as blood met water, forming a crimson cloud that twisted against the soft current before dissipating into the larger body of water. Satisfied, Asuna ran her fingertip along her tongue, savouring the metallic taste of her own blood, half closing her eyes in content, sucking softly on her finger, running it across the length of her tongue before removing it again. She brought the blade against her neck, loosely tracing it, her lips parting gently at the thought of making the slice. She continued moving the knife across her shoulders and along her arm, she rested the blade on her wrist. She applied pressure to the metal, teeth gritting slightly at the sudden rush of pain. She pulled the knife across her soft, pale skin, the metal carving its way across the surface as Asuna's pained expression eased into a smile, she made three identically sized cuts a few millimetres apart on her wrist, holding it up in front of herself, she gazed at what she had caused, content. Laughing quietly to herself as she watched her blood tumble down her arm in multiple streams, soft droplets dislodging themselves from her elbow and cascading into the water sending out small ripples as drops of blood made contact with the surface, the cloud staining an area of the water a light shade of red before dissipating again.

Asuna traced the length of her arm again with the blade, uncontrollably smiling at the damage she was causing herself, touching the cold, bloodstained metal against the warm skin on her shoulders as she sat up in the water, allowing her to trail her cleavage with the edge of the blade, a sigh leaving her lungs and escaping her lips as an urge to cut herself rushed her mind, adrenaline reaching her hands and she gripped the handle a little tighter, an element of fear mixing with the adrenaline and depression in her mind and she hesitated for a moment. Before pulling the knife across the middle of her chest, the knife making a cold incision across her warm body and she yelped in pain, gritting her teeth and giggling through them, streaks of pain only assisting her feelings of success as she watched blood escape from her chest, her breathing becoming slightly faster as adrenaline touched her mind again, her senses heightening as she recognised the strong scent of blood combined with the remnants that were resting on her tongue, her head lurched forward as the stimulus quickly became overwhelming and she let out a quiet scream under her breath, a combination of both pain and content.

Asuna observed the cuts she had made, watching her blood as it feel from her wrists into the water, she ran her fingertips across her body for the final time, feeling the softness of her skin and how warm it was, before she took a hold of the bloodstained blade for one last cut, running the blade across her tongue so as to taste her own blood off of the metal, the coldness of it taking her aback at first, but it also stimulated her tongue in a way she didnt expect, alongside the bloody taste. She held the blade at arms length, examining its edge and her bloodied wrist. Her eyes never leaving the blade, she slowly brought it toward herself, touching her cheek first, sliding it down softly so that it rested upon her neck. Her eyes now half closed at the touch of the blade, she leant her head back, staring at the ceiling as she pulled the knife across her throat.

Asuna felt the blood almost immediately, a warm liquid trailing down her cold body, becoming even colder by the second, she remained calm even as blood started moving up her throat. She relaxed her body and felt her lips becoming warm at the touch of the liquid which was now flowing gently from her mouth, the darkness crept into her vision as a final breath escaped from her bloodied lips and she lay limp in the water, cold, bloodied and exposed. Her hand laid outside of the bath, droplets of blood falling from her fingertips, blood was so much more beautiful in real life than Aincrad.


End file.
